A Thousand Dollar Poem

I won a thousand dollars in the lottery,
but it wouldn’t even put a down payment
on the type of dreams I’ve been fantasizing about,
so I tossed half the wad into the gutter
and doused the rest in ketchup
so it could easily slide down my throat
along with the ninety-nine cent frozen meal
I spent the rest of my winnings on.

When I told this to my accountant
he started flipping out,
slamming his hands on the desk,
getting flush in the face,
hyperventilating like a fiend,
and cursing my name to the grave…
completely unprofessional behavior
in my humble opinion.

I just grinned and shrugged my shoulders.
Easy come, easy go, I laughed.
But you’re dead broke, you bum, he raved.
Like hell I am –
I just wrote a thousand dollar poem…
I’ll sleep like a baby tonight, sir.
I watched him clutch his chest and spasm
as I opened the door and turned to walk out.
You’re fired, you filthy swine, I called
out over my shoulder
as I heard his heart explode
in the tiny little office prison where he collapsed.

My short story And Then There Was Sound was published yesterday at Revolution John. It was a runner-up in the recent Highlander Fiction Contest. I wrote the piece back in the Spring of 2006 after reading and being inspired by Hermann Hesse’s The Glass Bead Game. Hesse is definitely up there on my list of favorite authors.

Also published yesterday was Who Have You Been Kissing which went up at Leaves of Ink.

I also had a couple of poems accepted by Rasputin: A Poetry Thread. So overall, not a bad day at all.


Scott Thomas Outlar

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