Shooting It Straight

I’ve grown comfortable living in my own skin
so there ain’t no need
to feel anxious or put on airs
I don’t seek out arguments or fights
so there ain’t no drama
bubbling up or boiling over
I date so rarely it could be said not at all
so there ain’t no heartache
to draw from or bleed out
I know this flesh is mortal
so there ain’t no fear of death
rattling around in these aging bones
I experience God constantly as consciousness itself
so there ain’t no cause
to question faith or doubt the existence thereof
It does sting my skin
when a mosquito bites
so I will smash all parasites without remorse
I did watch my Father die
right in front of my eyes
so I know the process ain’t pretty
I do suffer the same as every other soul
so I feel compassion and empathy
for those who get trapped in the pain of being human
I have been lied to and manipulated
and so understand the disruption such deception causes
which is why I do my best to shoot shit straight
Though I have lied myself as well as to myself
at times in the past
so I know that path leads nowhere fast
I do grow tired and weary at times
without fully understanding why
so I do my best to get a good night’s rest
I have stayed awake for days at a time
using chemical cocktails to chase the dragon
and so I have seen things that most have not
I have danced out near the edge of oblivion
and that ain’t no exaggerated hyperbole
so I know damn well that the abyss does indeed stare back
I have feasted gluttonously and I have fasted in renunciation
and know that both techniques have benefits and drawbacks
so I do my best to keep it in the middle of the road
I have experienced a lot in this life so far
but I know there is always more lying ahead
and so I keep my sights set on the future
I analyze my strengths and weaknesses
and so I know what I do well
but my intention is to do it best
The only person I’m in competition with is myself
so there ain’t no need for pettiness or jealousy
and I’m sincere when I say let’s all catch this wave and rise

I finally went to sleep around 7 a.m. this morning and didn’t wake up until after noon, so everything has been slightly out of whack on the old schedule. Today’s poem was written in the woods a few hours ago while I was out for my daily walk. My mind was a bit foggy as I hammered it out, due in part I’m sure to the 5 a.m. feast that probably wasn’t the most mindful decision I’ve ever made in my life. Hell, these things happen from time to time. So it goes…
I’m happy that my poem “Kaleidoscopic Wonderland” is included in the new Fall issue of Halcyon Magazine which was released today. Big thank you to Monique Berry for continuing to support my work, as this is now the third issue I’ve appeared in. The online version can be read at the link below, and the printed edition will be available sometime in the near future.
Thank you also to Stephen Jarrell Williams for publishing “Silver Waves in the Night” and “Be Still, My Exploding Heart” at Dead Snakes last night. When it comes to people who have supported my work, Stephen is right up there at the top of the list. I’ve probably had at least 60 poems appear at Dead Snakes in the past year. I don’t know how the man keeps up with the amount of submissions he must receive because there is constantly new work going up at his site. Strong poetry from strong poets. It’s a spot I stop by at as often as possible because I know there is always going to be something good to read. I recently added Stephen’s personal site “Poet of Doom” to the Blogs Page here at 17Numa, so I’d encourage people to go check out some of his poetry.
Alrighty…thanks to everyone who has dropped by to see what’s new. I really do appreciate every visitor that 17Numa gets. It’s really awesome to watch as the numbers continue to rise. I hope you’ll keep stopping by the site to stay connected with me and my words. I say it often that this journey is only just beginning.
Hit me up on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to get in contact with me. Please know that the door is always open.
Scott Thomas Outlar

2 thoughts on “Shooting It Straight

    1. Hey, Melissa! Great to hear from ya. Thanks for reading this piece. Well, you are one of the few people who has seen me while dancing out near the edge. Ha! Hope things are going well with you, and that you have a great Autumn season!


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