I won a thousand dollars in the lottery,
but it wouldn’t even put a down payment
on the type of dreams I’ve been fantasizing about,
so I tossed half the wad into the gutter
and doused the rest in ketchup
so it could easily slide down my throat
along with the ninety-nine cent frozen meal
I spent the rest of my winnings on.
When I told this to my accountant
he started flipping the fuck out,
slamming his hands on the desk,
getting flush in the face,
hyperventilating like a fiend,
and cursing my name to the grave…
completely unprofessional behavior
in my humble opinion.
I just grinned and shrugged my shoulders.
Easy come, easy go, I laughed.
But you’re dead broke, you bum, he raved.
Like hell I am –
I just wrote a thousand dollar poem…
I’ll sleep like a baby tonight, sir.
I watched him clutch his chest and spasm
as I opened the door and turned to walk out.
You’re fired, you filthy swine, I called
out over my shoulder
as I heard his heart explode
in the tiny little office prison where he collapsed.